Scared...

life been ok lately. I'm still waiting for my permit from Taiwan and getting anxious about it. I do hope everything goes well. I got a lot at stake here but again, I try to stay positive and not to stress myself out too much.

I got a lot of bad news last couple of weeks. Not about me, but people around me. Relationship fall apart, people loosing love ones, and all... Kinda got me down a little. I dunno. Relationship are hard i suppose, but am I being naive to believe in happy ever after? We all try so hard everyday to be happy, but along the way, have we even forget what happy means?

Today, I saw some disturbing news on the paper, which got me a bit scared... scared about the future of this country. Scared about the future of the people in this country... Are we heading the right direction? i dunno... I believe changes are good, but are we ready for changes? can the people handle the change?? I really have my doubt.

I had dream last night, that i was on a flight to Taiwan, then i realize i felt something important that I forget to bring along... until now, i still dunno what it was... my heart maybe

I was frustrated with a dear fren last week. I dunno whether was I just merely being unreasonable... but I know is i was furious.. I was very disappointed to at the same time. Maybe she did nothing wrong, maybe I just expect to much. I think I am very demanding towards relationship. I always feel that the one that care the most, bound to be the one that get most hurt. I dunno whether is it right... but I'm just like that.

It was a OK week. I feel like so much undone and yet I feel like I lack the energy. I suppose to be very excited.. but again I'm terrified. I need everything to go well... but hell, i know that the world don't go around the exact way i want it to... I'm scared to loose when I have too much at stake... I'm scared....

Fairy tales

Long long time ago, in a land far far away, lives a King and a Queen. Together they had this beautiful princess. Oh! what a beauty she was. Those big blue eyes like the colour of the deep blue sea... and the long goldie locks... she was the fairest of all.

They live in this beautiful castle, where they will have Balls, tea parties. It was always filled with music, laughter and love. It was a happy place.

And then, the princess grew up and like every fairy tale, the prince charming came looking for his princess. Riding his beautiful white stallion, with his shinning amour, he swept her feet with his charm. In was out of this world kinda love. They sing, they dance. They kiss, they loved. He brings her gift, flowers.... He was out there to spoil her with all his love... as she was all that in his eyes... and she knows that they are gonna live happily ever after.

But... suddenly.. things start to change. The prince's flower don't shower her anymore. They fight and they fight... They can't seem to find back to good old days... She asked him:"Why? What went wrong?" Prince charming said, " this is not the ending that i want."

So Prince Charming left, with the cobbler's daughter, a peasant, to search for a brand new life. While the princess stayed back in her empty castle with a broken heart, wondering.. What happened to her happily ever after?

Long long time ago, we learn that princesses don't always live happily ever after...

It's a beautiful day

It’s a beautiful day....

where the sun is shinning... bird is chirping... flowers are blooming...

It’s a beautiful day....

where I'm dancing in the car park... twirling and swinging...

It’s a beautiful day...

where my face is plastered with a smile... i can't stop it...

It’s a beautiful day...

where I sing ..oh so loud...

It’s a beautiful day.....

where I stand at the top of the world and holler your name...

It's a beautiful day....

What's wrong with the world, mama?

I read a news today that really sadden me... I sure you all have read the news, about the lip-syched incident in the Olympic. How a 7-year-old Chinese girl was not good-looking enough for the Olympics opening ceremony, so another little girl with a pixie smile lip-synched the national anthem "Ode to the Motherland".

Was shocking that how can a country openly tell the world, tell the children of the world that, "doesn't matter how talented you are, but you can be denied just by your look" What are we teaching the children today?

As a kid, I grew up in an environment where I was denied of a lot of opportunity merely because the way I look. I remember the face of my teacher when she told me that I could not take part in a competition because of my skin colour. I was only 10 years old then. I cried. I could not understand why? I was good. I was talented. I don't understand why could not I compete just because I am darker then my other school mate. How could anyone understand why??

Since then, I realized, that people are "skin" deep. I work very hard to prove myself. I have to put in the extra to make a point a across, that the colour of my skin should not matter.

Over the years, I grew up and the colour of my skin doesn't matter anymore. or does it? Why every time I turn back, i still see the little girl that is crying along the school hall way? Why is that image still brings tears to the eye? Why the sense of rejection still feel so clear?

And I look at the little 7 year old girl today, and I am thinking, How did her parents tell her? How did the officer tell her? "girl, you are probably the best 7 year old singer around, but we can't choose you to represent the country cause you are not cute enough?" I am baffled. Who are you to tell a 7 year old girl that?

People say you get over it. No, you won't. You will be surprise that how much a 7 year old can remember. I still remember the teacher that called me the"black" one in my second grade and I was only 8.

I am upset about what I have been through as a kid. And I will never ever want another kid to go through what I haven went through. But now, I am angry! I am angry on how a country is teaching their children. How can you do that to a child? How can we teach a child that looks does matter? How can we teach a child that, as long as you look good enough, you can get it all? What kind of message are we sending to the world out there?

This Olympic probably has one of the best opening ever. However, when this is done with price of a child, the message of Olympic to promote mankind... seems to me.. its a joke!

Missing you...

I recieved a great news today... it was a really a very good news...

I took out my phone and realized that the only person that I want to tell this news to is no longer around.

What is joy when you are not here anymore...

Never

I never had sex before.

They say they adore me, they say I am gorgeous, they say I am sexy, they say they care so much about me, they say I am their best friend. But they will never have sex with me.

I was never hugged by a man so tight that it’s like nothing can tear him away.

They say they adore me, they say I am gorgeous, they say I am sexy, they say they care so much about me, they say I am their best friend. But they will never hug me the way that make me gasp for air.

I was never kissed by a man before.

They say they adore me, they say I am gorgeous, they say I am sexy, they say they care so much about me, they say I am their best friend. But they will never kiss me until my toe curls.

I was never loved by a man before in the way that a man loves a woman.

They say they adore me, they say I am gorgeous, they say I am sexy, they say they care so much about me, they say I am their best friend. But they will never fall in love with me.
Never.

Red. Like Blood

I'm obsessed abt Grey's anatomy. AGAIN.

I thought i was over it already. After season 3 and i refused to watch season 4. Mainly because Burke dump Christina at the alter. George cheated on Callie. Izzie still annoys me. Meredith.... dont even get me started...

But because i cant resist the temptation. I cant resist Mc Dreamy... I got hook... AGAIN...

Still havent finish all the episodes of season 4, about 6v more episode left. But i decided to include by far a few of my favourite quotes for season 4 :).. enjoy...:

Meredith: Christina... are you in the dark place?
Christina: Yeah.
Meredith: Me too


Cristina: Okay, what are your other symptoms?
Meredith: Okay..there’s the father thing. The mother thing. The sister thing... mmm ... the dying and coming back to life thing.
Cristina: You have too many things.

Meredith: Lexie's not that bad is she?
Cristina: Oh, are we not hating her anymore?
Meredith: Oh no, we still hate the idea of her. We just realize we don't have reason to hate the actual person.
Cristina: She's an intern. That's reason enough.
Meredith: Oh, I think you may be the new Nazi.
Cristina: Damn right.

Meredith: Lexie's not that bad is she?
Cristina: Oh, are we not hating her anymore?
Meredith: Oh no, we still hate the idea of her. We just realize we don't have reason to hate the actual person.
Cristina: She's an intern. That's reason enough.
Meredith: Oh, I think you may be the new Nazi.
Cristina: Damn right.

George: Well, Dr. Bailey did save your life today. A black woman saved your life, at a great personal cost. So maybe next time you're looking at your tattoo and you're thinking how much better all these white guys are better than everyone else. You might wanna think about that. Cause between you and me, if I had been alone in that O.R., you would probably be dead right now. And since we are sharing belief systems, I believe that if you were dead, the world would be a better place.

George: It's horrible. The sex. With Izzie... horrible. It's like she's trying to hard, it... it's...you ever seen a porno? Not that Izzie's a porno; she's an angel, but it's like she's trying to... channel a porn star and she's trying to act all dirty and sexy, which sounds great, right? But in reality I just wanna say, "Izzie, just because you can do that with your legs doesn't mean that you should."
Meredith: Eh... I wanna run.
George: Run, run. Run now!

What a brilliant script they had!!I can go on and on... You probably cant relate much to it until u watch the show...oh be prepare, that once u start watching... you just cant stop!!

Oh ya... my personal favourite line for this season will be:

Christina: I am painting Burke's apartment so I can stop calling it Burke's apartment. A happy color. Red. Like blood.

RED. LIKE BLOOD