Defeated

My car broke down yesterday before i go to work.

It is probably not the worst thing that had happend to me, but it still sucks. I still remember, it was 8:15am in the morning, and i was standing there, staring at my car. i dunno what to do.. well, not like i really dunno what to do. i mean, the reasonable man will call the mechanic and so... But at that time, where the frustration builds up, i just wanted to sit down and do nothing...

I left my hometown since i was 19. Went to KL alone, study and work there ever since... if there is ever one thing i learn over the course of 7 years living alone, is that u only got urself. I mean, of coz i got frens, in fact i got the best of the best frens. But they are still frens. They have no obligation to be there for u or help u to resolve your problem. Its not that i am incapable of solving my problem... but it will be nice, that for once, just once u have someone that tell u:" its ok. dont worry. I will take care of everything." How nice... is it too much to ask? wishful thinking?

I dunno have i been doing a good job with myself. I dont think i did. I sometime still feel as helpless and confuse as the 19 year old girl in Town. So many time i tell myself :'just go home Tania. Y are u still here? u got no family, no love one, y are u still here?" I dont know. The lifesyle? the career? the frens? Maybe...

U think loneliness is a habit, but i never seems to get use to it. Maybe i havent grown up. that probably is my problem. I am n a child stuck in an adult body. Overwelmed with the grown up world and struggle to find a place everyday.

I told JA that i like cant find anyone to watch movie with me and i end up watching movie alone all the time. Pathetic? maybe... but its probably my effort to adulthood. Learn how to be alone. Learn to be a grown up. Stop being a baby!

Will get my car fixed tomorrow and continue my daily routine like normal. but i still pray, along the way, i will learn and be good at being a grown up. Being me.

I hate man

I hate man.

Yes, I seriously do.

I hate man which is only nice to the girl that they like and treat every other female like ass.

I hate man that only pulls out the chair for the girl that they like and just leave their other female friend hanging high and dry.

I hate man that only cares about whether the girl they like will break their hand by carry a piece of paper and totally ignores other females that stand beside him with a tons of stuffs.

I hate man that thinks that every girl that talks to him like him -_________-. Please, we are better then that.

I hate man that thinks that fair and skinny girls are pretty; where else a dark and fat girl is ugly. FYI, there is no such thing as an ugly girl but a shallow man.

I hate man that swears at a girl. Yes, we can swear at you, can even slap at you if we want. Don’t like it? Tough! I never say it’s a fair world.

I hate man… that breaks a girl heart, and go around parade it as his winning glory.

I hate man… I really do…

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Life sucks. Hope yours is better.

I can't take my eyes off you

The Blower's Daughter
Damien Rice and Lisa Hannigan lyrics

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new