Scared...

life been ok lately. I'm still waiting for my permit from Taiwan and getting anxious about it. I do hope everything goes well. I got a lot at stake here but again, I try to stay positive and not to stress myself out too much.

I got a lot of bad news last couple of weeks. Not about me, but people around me. Relationship fall apart, people loosing love ones, and all... Kinda got me down a little. I dunno. Relationship are hard i suppose, but am I being naive to believe in happy ever after? We all try so hard everyday to be happy, but along the way, have we even forget what happy means?

Today, I saw some disturbing news on the paper, which got me a bit scared... scared about the future of this country. Scared about the future of the people in this country... Are we heading the right direction? i dunno... I believe changes are good, but are we ready for changes? can the people handle the change?? I really have my doubt.

I had dream last night, that i was on a flight to Taiwan, then i realize i felt something important that I forget to bring along... until now, i still dunno what it was... my heart maybe

I was frustrated with a dear fren last week. I dunno whether was I just merely being unreasonable... but I know is i was furious.. I was very disappointed to at the same time. Maybe she did nothing wrong, maybe I just expect to much. I think I am very demanding towards relationship. I always feel that the one that care the most, bound to be the one that get most hurt. I dunno whether is it right... but I'm just like that.

It was a OK week. I feel like so much undone and yet I feel like I lack the energy. I suppose to be very excited.. but again I'm terrified. I need everything to go well... but hell, i know that the world don't go around the exact way i want it to... I'm scared to loose when I have too much at stake... I'm scared....